When Hubs and I went through pre-marriage counseling, I wasn’t really worried about any of the topics that would come up – I was looking forward to having some of those tough conversations to assure me of our future. The only thing I felt needed to be aired before we went into counseling was the “kids” issue.
For whatever reason, I was sure we would have a hard time getting pregnant. My parents had a hard time conceiving between my Bro and I. I just felt like it would be an easy foothold for the enemy. I also felt like I needed to address it and get it out there so that we could talk about it.
When I told Hubs my fear, I remember him telling me that we could discuss our options so that we were on the same page, but that I couldn’t let the fear take hold. I needed to put it in God’s hands.
So we talked about it. We talked about that ideally, we would love a big natural family. We decided that regardless, we would like to adopt. We’ve seen too many unloved children in this world to not heed the call to love some of them. We decided that medical intervention wasn’t in the cards for us. We try to be very natural, but more importantly, we know that there are children who need love, so why not put our resources into bringing them home? We also knew that in whatever situation we were presented with children – natural born, adoption, kids from church, or kids from school or a team – that we would be parents to kids who needed positive adult role models. We knew that if God put it in our hearts to be parents, then He would make us parents, some how, some way, some times, His time. – This by the way, is how I now have 17 year old daughter, a former student, who just needs a positive role model. (*disclaimer* this is in no way a judgement of people who use medical intervention for getting pregnant, we simply decided it was not for us)
After yesterday’s post, Seester said that I needed to be open to whatever possibilities God has for us. While it would be wonderful and truly an answer to prayer to get pregnant (and, like, anytime now), I know some things to be true:
1. God has put it in our hearts to be parents, so parents we shall be.
2. We have already been blessed with a beautiful little girl. Our hearts’ desire has been fulfilled.
3. Even if #2 were not true, we would still have the ability to be parents. God has shown me that through the lives of my students with whom I am close.
4. God will give us more opportunities to be parents. We are excited to one day adopt. Even if our paperwork never goes through, we have our little girl who will have little friends who will have broken homes and lives and need parental figures. And even if we lose our little girl, we will have children in our church or in our neighborhood, nieces and nephews, and friends’ kids. These kids will give us the opportunities to be parents in different (and sometimes, more challenging) ways than we ever expected.
5. Truth: God has placed it in our hearts to be parents. So He will make us parents. In His way. In His time.
If God has placed in your heart the desire to be a parent, He will make it happen. I hope this thought, this verse (1 Sam 1:27), and this post help you to remember that. I know so many women are hurting for little ones right now. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. God will make a way.
Also, Seester pointed out that the verse also speaks of dedicating your child to God. Which I think I covered pretty nicely in my Philosophy of Parenting.