I know, no one wants to talk about submission. I, however, love to make people uncomfortable. So here goes.
I am doing a fabulously challenging devotion right now at http://ninaroesner.com/ I write Hubs based on this challenge. Today’s letter says this.
Right before we started dating, I remember Jeff Carter asking me if I was ready to submit to a man. I laughed at him and asked what he meant by submit. He told me that it’s in the Bible as a marital practice and if I really wanted to be in a relationship, then I had better be ready for it.
I fought submission. If you think to the first year of our relationship, I wanted to make it clear that I didn’t need anyone and I certainly was gracing you with the privilege of being with me and don’t you forget it. I could not have been an easy woman to be around. But my goodness man, you are patient and full of grace. It just flows out of you.
As the idea of marrying you sunk further and further in and we were discussing more and deeper and spirit-filled things, it hit me at some point that to be in a solid, Christian marriage, we would have to do it biblically. I would have to submit.
And while I tried to fight the notion, a peace came over me like none other. The peace welled up inside of me and told me that if God had in mind a husband for me to marry, wouldn’t He also grace that husband with the ability to lead well so that submitting was a joy not a chore?
I was overcome by this thought. How simple : God taught me to submit by showing me that you were a great leader. So I didn’t need to run everything. So things wouldn’t always go my way. So things weren’t the way we did them in my family. So what? All of the stress I had felt about appearing a certain way – strong, independent, fully capable – I could have any of those things but I didn’t need to wear them as armor. I needed to open up to new ideas, new leadership, and know that you and God had it worked out.
Now, when my girlfriends get married, they almost always ask me about this. I say this : it’s a relief to me in marriage now to know those weights are not on my shoulders. I am confident in his leadership so much that I don’t worry about money, or major decisions. I give my input. I talk through things. At the end of the day, it’s simply not my stress. I am a helpmate. I get to support and build up so that he can make these decisions confidently and in the best interest of our family. If I don’t trust him to do it, he’ll never try.
Matt, I love working on submission every day. I love having you as a leader I our house. I love that in response to my submission, you got down at our wedding and washed my feet and promised to die for me, just as Christ did for his bride, the Church.
I love you.